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TRUTH OR DARE

Q. You can do that at trial. This is a deposi­tion. I just want the facts. I want to under­stand this. That’s all I’m trying to do here.

A. I wish you were under oath, that you were just asking for the facts, because your nose would be growing.

Q. Like Pinocchio?

A. Exactly.

Q. Well, a good thing I’m not under oath, then.

Therese Casterline, RMR, CRR
The Colony, Texas
 

THAT EXPLAINS IT

Q. Let me just ask you this, ma’am. Had your husband been drinking or doing any drugs or anything like that before the accident?

A. No. We are Christians. He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke. We don’t do anything.

Alan Turboff, RPR
Houston, Texas
 

NO STANDARD

Q. Do you know what the standard of care is in Missouri?

A. I have no definition of the standard of care in Missouri.

MR. JONES: I object to the form of the question. It’s argumentative. There is no standard in Missouri.

Barbara Prindle, RPR
Brunswick, Ga.
 

UNKNOWN

A. He told me that the defendant showed up at his apartment a week ago with an unknown man.

Q. Did you ask him the identity of the unknown male?

A. Unknown.

Q. He did not know who the male was?

A. Unknown.

Q. So that means he did not know?

A. That’s correct. Unknown male.

Q. I just had to clarify that.

Linda Breech, RPR
Santa Clarita, Calif.
 

SAY AGAIN?

It would all be determined at the time and what the circumstances were, what the weather was, you know, what the condi­tions were. I mean, it wouldn’t seem too logical to me to go take somebody back outside after they just fell down to the area where they just fell down to see where they just fell down to see because they just might fall down again.

Denise Thomas, RPR, CRR
Salt Lake City, Utah
 

WHAT I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN

THE COURT: All right. What month — since my last name starts with A I know I always have to get my plates in January, but what month is L? When do you?

THE DEFENDANT: June.

THE COURT: June? What’s the law? Do you have until the end of June?

MR. PARK: Pardon me?

THE COURT: Do you have until the end of June?

MR. PARK: Yeah, I believe so.

THE COURT: This was a June 4 ticket?

THE DEFENDANT: July 4.

THE COURT: He says on or before — on or about 6/4.

THE DEFENDANT: Oh. Well then not guilty.

(Laughter.)

THE COURT: Well, let me look at this police re­port (indicating). His police report says July 4, but he wrote his ticket for June 4, so.

THE DEFENDANT: So?

THE COURT: It’s, you know, the State can move to amend the ticket to reflect the appropri­ate date.

THE DEFENDANT: Yeah, I’m not denying it.

THE COURT: Yeah.

THE DEFENDANT: That was just a joke.

THE COURT: All right.

Melissa Odens, RPR
Armour, S.D.
 

TEETH OR NO TEETH?

MR. JONES: Your Honor, I’m sorry. I can’t hear a word here. It’s just mumbling.

THE WITNESS: Can you hear me now?

MR. JONES: Your volume is fine. It’s just your words are running together. Maybe it’s just me.

THE WITNESS: Do you need me to take my teeth out?

MR. THOMAS: I don’t know if that would help.

THE WITNESS: It would.

MR. PETRANO: I don’t – I’m not going to ask that, Your Honor.

Karen Ambroziak, RPR
Blythewood, S.C.
 

WATCH WHO YOU’RE CALLING BABE

Q. Well, my wife is a lot smarter than I am. She’s got a Ph.D. in math, Ph.D. in statistics. If I have a statistics question, I lean over and say, “Hey, Babe, you know, can you help me out?” I’m slow; I’m just a lawyer. She tells me that when you’re doing an analysis to try and determine something’s been impacted, in order for to it to be statistically relevant, you have to compare it to some sort of baseline. Is she leading me astray, my wife?

MR. SMITH: Objection, form.

A. I’m quite confident your wife would never lead you astray. I’m sitting here wondering how she reacts when you say, “Hey, babe.”

Q. She reacts positive.

A. When you say, “Hey, babe”?

Q. When I say, “Hey, babe” to somebody else, that may be another story. I’m very careful about that.

Therese Casterline, RMR, CRR
The Colony, Texas
 

DETAILS, DETAILS

Q. From the time that you felt the bump until the time that you looked, did that happen almost instantaneously?

A. Yes.

Q. And this bump you described is something that alerted your attention to you looking 360 degrees to try to see where the bump came from?

A. Yes.

Q. All right. But we know you did not see a car after you felt the bump; correct?

A. Correct.

Q. All right. So you make a right-hand turn onto Main Street and pull over?

A. Yes.

Q. Can you describe the damage for me, please?

A. The front fender was damaged, cracked. The headlight assembly was shoved in or pulled in. The front passenger’s side bumper was shoved in between the tire and the frame.

Q. Okay. Anything else that you remember?

A. And there was a bumper in between the fender and the tire.

Q. A bumper that was not yours?

A. Yes.

Leanne Fitzgerald
St. Augustine, Fla.