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THE LAST PAGE: Just for fun

Days of wine and depositions

Q. My question is just whether there was.
A. I said I don’t recall. I’m starting to get too relaxed here. I forgot you’re the bad guy; I can’t talk.
MR. JONES: Mr. Smith’s a nice guy.
MR. SMITH: Thank you, sir.
THE WITNESS: Give me a glass of wine; I’ll talk all you want.
MR. SMITH: Can we get a cabernet?
MR. JONES: Even John will talk for that.
Therese Casterline, RMR, CRR
The Colony, Texas

Smile and the world smiles with you
Q. May I ask, sir, at this period of time were you working outside the home? Did you have a job?
A. Yeah. Yes.
Q. What do you do?
A. I’m a construction consultant.
Q. Construction consultant?
A. Yes.
Q. So I take it in your business you’re familiar with contracts?
A. Somewhat. Not on an attorney level.
MR. SMITH: Nobody gets down that low.
MR. JONES: Are you telling a joke here or what?
THE WITNESS: No. I’m just saying I’m not an attorney.
MR. SMITH: If we can’t smile, life is not worth living.
Helga C. Lavan, RPR
Hicksville, N.Y.

Don’t like like
A. Yeah, for, like, a month or so, I felt, you know, I felt better, but then, like, after, like, I noticed that I would still get pains back, but, like, I wouldn’t — I would just, like, try to ignore it. I said it’s probably just normal. But then it just kept coming back, like, the pain, so then I felt like I probably, like, you know, didn’t fully, like, get better, like, after that. Like, I thought I was better, but then I guess, like, I wasn’t better. Like, does it make sense?
Dominique Isabeau
Daly City, Calif.

In a New York minute
MR. SMITH: Let’s go to lunch.
THE WITNESS: I’m deferring to the New Yorkers and whether it’s better to wait until 1 so the crowd’s down or it’s just always going to be crowded or —
MR. SMITH: Honestly, the rule on this side of the table — feel free to disagree on the other — is if it’s an hour with o’clock and a day ending in Y and it’s here, it will be crowded. That’s not quite true, but it’s a very good rule of thumb.
Laurie Collins, RPR
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Never retire
A retired police officer’s deposition was taken.
A. Well, I don’t want to say we sat next to each other and corroborated the report, but it was my last two weeks working and he was going to try to handle everything so we — if I had interviewed somebody, I would have told him what they told me. And if he put that in his report, he would have put that in his report.
But I don’t recall specifically saying, hey, put this in the report, put that in the report. But he was — the goal was for him to handle most of the reports so that I wouldn’t be here a year later at a deposition, so — it was the goal, but apparently it didn’t work well.
Elsa Jorgensen
Birmingham, Mich.

Q. Did you exit the taxi after the accident had occurred?
A. Of course I exited the taxi. I wasn’t about to blow up. This isn’t Final Destination.
Christine DeRosa
Plainview, N.Y.

The judge making himself clear
Q. Okay. You’re being way too cute for words. You are a lawyer. You know it’s important to —
MR. JONES: Your Honor, I’m going to have to object. Would Ms. Hood not berate the witness?
THE COURT: Overruled. Go ahead. Let’s move on.
THE COURT: Do you have a problem with my ruling, Counselor?
MR. JONES: The way she’s — I have a problem with the way she’s talking to the witness.
THE COURT: Do you have a problem with my ruling?
MR. JONES: Yes, Your Honor.
THE COURT: Okay. Overruled.
MR. JONES: Okay.
THE COURT: I get to make rulings, and I made one. You don’t have to like it.
MR. JONES: I agree, Your Honor, a hundred percent.
THE COURT: And you don’t have to engage me in conversation when you do it. Do you understand?
MR. JONES: Yes, sir.
THE COURT: Am I clear?
Peggy Hershelman, RPR
League City, Texas

The laws of physics
A. Those floors and the roof, in turn, brace the walls laterally against wind loads and seismic loads, because, if the walls and floors are not there, those tall walls, if the roof structure and floor structure were absent and the wall was just free standing by itself, it would be unstable, so the floors and the roof brace the walls, and the walls support the roof and the floors.
Debbie Rafferty
Butte, Mont.

What scares you?
Q. Have you ever represented that you were married, you and Destiny were married?
A. No, ma’am.
Q. Okay. So have you ever been married to anybody else?
A. No, ma’am.
Q. You look scared.
A. The thought of, yeah, marriage is scary, yeah.
Q. All right. Well —
A. Most definitely.
Q. — do you have any children?
A. No, ma’am. No, that’s worse than marriage.
Denyce Sanders, RMR, CRR
Houston, Texas