The last page: On-the-job laughing

 

One at a time
Q. Now, on the big screen in the room, there is another column displayed.
MS. JONES: And, Your Honor, just for the record, are you able to see the screen well?
THE WITNESS: Yes, I can.
MS. JONES: No. Judge Doe.
THE COURT: I can see it.
MS. JONES: Okay.
BY MS. JONES:
Q. And Witness, you can also see that as well?
A. Yes. And sorry for answering for the judge.
Elsa Jorgensen
Birmingham, Mich.

Context prevails
A. Can I go back up and explain my answer now on line 7?
On top of page 94, as we were having this discussion, we were talking about a group. And when I answered on line when you asked on line 1 of page 94, you said: “Okay. You weren’t looking at the work progress schedule?” And I said: “Correct.”
I answered that in the context that you and you were using “you” and “y’all” interchangeably and
Q. But today
A. Hold on.
Q. you clearly testified that you did look at the work progress schedule.
A. Yeah, and I said that here that I looked at the work progress schedule.
MR. SMITH: In Texas, “you” is you. And if you mean everybody, you say “y’all.” But if you really want to include everybody, it’s “all y’all.”
THE WITNESS: Okay. Somebody bought me a book of Texas lingo, so I should bring that next time.
Denyce Sanders, RDR, CRR
Houston, Texas

Adjective or adverb
A. If I saw the evidence and it said that, it would not absolutely surprise me.
Q. Well, would it partially surprise you? You said it would not absolutely surprise you.
A. I’ll delete the adjective.
Q. Okay, adverb.
A. Adverb, sorry. I’m not an English major.
Laurie Collins, RPR
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Unique identifiers
The following exchange happened in court during a criminal trial of a drug dealer:
BY MR. MITCHELL:
Q. Do you see Mr. Brown in the courtroom today?
A. Yes.
Q. Can you tell us where he’s sitting and what he’s wearing?
MR. JOHNSON: We’ll stipulate.
THE COURT: Stipulated.
THE WITNESS: He’s wearing a blue tie.
MR. MITCHELL: Thank you. Now —
THE COURT: So am I, by the way.
BY MR. MITCHELL:
Q. Would you agree that the gentleman on your right with the black robe on is not Mr. Charles Brown?
A. Yes, he’s not Charles Brown.
Q. Okay. Fair enough.
Judy Walsh, RDR, CRR, CCP
Chicago, Ill.

Answer or do not answer
Q. And who are the people in the business that you’ve talked to about this business?
A. Lots of other business owners.
Q. For instance?
A. That have been in the business for longer than I have.
Q. Okay. For instance?
A. I’m not going to name names.
Q. Why not?
A. ‘Cause I — I don’t feel comfortable doing that.
Q. Well, I’m trying to find out what your basis of your training is. So you’ve mentioned other people in the business as part of a basis of your training and experience, so I’m inquiring as to who.
A. Lots of different people.
Q. Okay. Who would be the most influential?
A. Again, I don’t feel comfortable stating who it is.
Q. I’m not here for your comfort. I’m here to ask questions.
MR. JONES: Let’s take a break.
Jeni Bartel, RPR
La Mesa, Calif.
Smart alecks are all alike
MR. ADAMS: Nothing further. Thank you.
THE WITNESS: All right.
MS. SMITH: Thank you, Doctor.
MR. ADAMS: Doctor, I’ve paid you for two hours. What I would like you to do, since we still have 45 minutes —
THE WITNESS: Shine your shoes?
MR. ADAMS: — is when you get the deposition, I would like you to read it and sign it, so I can use that as your report, if you would do that for me.
THE WITNESS: I will.

Terri L. Huseth, RPR
Overland Park, Kan.

Premeditated accidents
This is from a deposition about a car accident where there were eight people in a seven-passenger van.
Q. Did you know if she had her seatbelt on?
A. No, but she told me later, “If I know accident will happen, then I would wear the seatbelt.”
Rosemary MacDonald, RPR
Calgary, Alberta