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THE LAST PAGE: Tickled my funny bone

Where are you from?
A. I did my undergraduate at Ohio State University followed by four years of medical school at Ohio State College of Medicine.
Q. Isn’t it controversial being an Ohio State graduate here in Michigan?
A. You know, you go where the job is and the job was here.
Q. I don’t know a law, but I think I know that.
A. That’s right.
Q. That’s not blue and maize. I know that.
Elsa Jorgensen
Birminham, Mich.

So sworn
The chairperson swore in the witness and then started in on some instructions. About 30 seconds later…
THE WITNESS: Can I put my hand down?
THE CHAIRPERSON: Oh, yeah, I’m sorry.
THE WITNESS: I was feeling very Boy Scout-ish.
THE CHAIRPERSON: I have never been asked before, but of course.
Laurie Collins, RPR
Brooklyn , N.Y.

Blast from the past
Q. Can you confirm or deny that?
A. It sounds like something Bill Clinton would say.
Debra A. Dibble, RDR, CRR, CRC
Woodland, Utah
Lawyer making things easy?
This was a car wreck case, and the person being deposed was the plaintiff. The person wasn’t at fault in the accident.
Q. But I was serious about my promise to you, if you admit the accident was all your fault, we’ll be out of here in five minutes. Was this accident all your fault?
A. No.
Q. I tried. Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you. I tried to get you out of here early. You didn’t want to accept my offer. That’s okay. I don’t take it personally.
Denyce Sanders, RDR, CRR
Houston, Texas

In words, please
A. The face above the eye and the eye were hurting.
Q. Which eye?
A. (Indicating.)
Q. Which eye?
A. (Indicating.) Oh, sorry. This eye.
Q. Right or left? Which I know there are two words.
A. Two words. This eye. (Indicating.)
Q. Right or left?
A. This eye, I told the doctor. Everybody knows, and I will tell it. If you have something else in here, tell me.
Q. What eye are you pointing at?
A. This eye. (Indicating.)
Q. Which side of your face is that on?
A. Right side.
Q. Thank you.
Michelle Giangualano
Seattle, Wash.

Rule of completeness?
MR. JONES: We’re referring to the exhibit as the Customer Claim Form. I just think the rule of completeness would ask for it all to be there.
MR. SMITH: The rule of what?
MR. JONES: Completeness.
MR. SMITH: Is that a Florida thing?
MR. JONES: It’s a law school 101 thing. It’s the first time I’ve ever used it in a sentence since the Bar.
MR. SMITH: You going to get paid extra for that?
Debra M. Arter, RDR, CRR
Rockledge, Fla.

Too, too much
MR. SMITH: Okay. I’m trying to see if I can ask this without making it too complicated.
MR. JONES: Too what?
MR. SMITH: Complicated.
MR. JONES: A lawyer?
Renee M. Bencich, RPR
Galt, Calif.

New explanation
Q. So as you’ve done a few times already today, um-hum or uh-uh, I know what you mean, everybody in the room knows what you mean, and the court reporter knows what you mean, and she’ll probably get it down correctly in the transcript, but I will usually —
MR. ROGERS: Am I going fast enough for you?
Q. — I will usually follow up and ask you, “Was that a yes, or was that a no?”
That’s where I give her a rest, when I consciously slow down.
Carrie Arnold, RPR, CRR
Arvada, Colo.

Speak up!
MR. JONES: And do you know who Led Zeppelin was, the band Led Zeppelin?
THE WITNESS: I heard of them.
MR. JONES: Okay. I used to listen to a lot of Led Zeppelin as a kid, so my hearing is shot. You’re a soft-spoken man. Will you speak up for me?
THE WITNESS: No problem.
Elsa Jorgensen
Birminham, Mich.

Burning rubber
From a building appeals hearing. The chairman was also the fire service representative.
THE CHAIRMAN: You’re doing great. Just slow down a wee bit. We’re going to have to get the court reporter a fire extinguisher.
Lin Riffle, RDR, CRR
Columbus, Ohio

The lay of the land
This is cross-examination:
Q. But as you left, you walked towards the grass; is that right?
A. Yes, again.
Q. And you walked on the grass, which would be west of the Legion Bar?
A. Yes.
Q. And then you walked on the grass?
A. Yes.
Q. Did you walk straight along with the edge of the grass, or did you cut across the grass to the sidewalk as you headed west towards Fresh Start?
A. I might have stayed on the grass though a ways, you know, closer to the sidewalk.
Q. Okay. So you stayed on the grass the whole time; is that correct?
A. No. I just said I was staying on the grass as I got closer to the sidewalk heading towards Fresh Start.
Q. So you stayed on the grass as you headed south towards the sidewalk?
A. No, I was heading west.
Jessica Paulsen
Pierre, S.D.