THE LAST PAGE: College days

Major degree
Q. Has your son expressed whether he intends to pursue any specific degree?
A. Well, he has always wanted to be an engineer. But when he entered college, he talked about getting into accounting and I guess two classes pretty much cured him of getting involved in that.
Elsa Jorgensen
Birmingham, Mich.

Vocabulary fun
MR. SMITH: I’ll object as nonresponsive.
A. Pardon me?
Q. (BY MR. SMITH) Lawyer gobbledygook.
MR. SMITH: Do you need me to spell that for you?
THE REPORTER: I’ve heard it before. You need to be more original.

Denyce Sanders, RDR, CRR
Houston, Texas

Don’t bet on it

Q. Okay. The next rule is please allow me to finish my question, even if you think you know what I’m going to ask you, before you start your answer. Because the court reporter will strangle you if you try to talk – you know, and we don’t want that.
A. Very well.
Q. Because we want to make her job easier. And she can’t take down an accurate recording if both of us are talking.
MR. SMITH: For the record, I don’t think the court reporter would strangle anybody.
COURT REPORTER: It depends on how late in the day it is.

Debra M. Arter, RDR, CRR
Rockledge, Fla.

Mixology
Q. What did you study at Fullerton?
A. Accounting and sociology.
Q. That unholy mix?
A. Yes. Unbelievable. I found safety in numbers.

Carrie Arnold, RPR, CRR
Arvada, Colo.

Study breaks
Q. And what is your anticipated graduation date?
A. December of 2016.
Q. What is your current GPA?
A. 3.47.
Q. You’re a slacker. I’m joking.
MR. WHITE: You did better than both he and I in law school.
MR. GREEN: If you put them together.

Elsa Jorgensen
Birmingham, Mich.

Who’s the Boss?
Q. How big is the house that you live in?
A. Couple thousand square feet.
Q. Are you in charge of any of the inside work in the house?
A. I’m not in charge of it at all. She is very liberal with me.
Q. Your wife?
A. I do what I can do because I have a conscience and she works full time.
Q. I need to have your wife talk to mine, if you don’t mind.
A. Well, we’ve been married 37 years and – “Yes, Dear.”

Elizabeth A. Tubbert, RPR
Highland, Mich.

Upgrades
Q. Aside from target shooting, is there anything else that you typically use your glasses to do?
A. Driving at night sometimes.
Q. And why is that?
A. Just it helps to be able to see better. I mean, my vision’s not horrible enough where I can’t see if I’m driving at night, but if I put the glasses on, obviously I see a lot clearer. It’s like HD compared to regular TV.

Virginia Dodge, RDR, CRR
Boston, Mass.
Silent partner
THE WITNESS: Can I just go on the record that the question is too stupid to answer?
MR. SMITH: Would you talk to your witness about keeping his mouth shut and just answering questions?
THE WITNESS: How can I – I’ll answer my questions with my mouth shut.

Carrie Arnold, RPR, CRR
Arvada, Colo.

Making an impression
(Via interpreter)
Q. What is your date of birth?
A. Who’s the opposing attorney?
Q. That is me, the good-looking guy sitting across the table from you.
A. So, he’s the opposing counsel? So, what did you say about him again?
Q. That he’s good-looking. And smart.
MS. JONES: Now is your opportunity. Keep it going.

Dominique Isabeau,
Daly City, Calif.

A different era
Q. What’s the name of the school that you go to?
A. I don’t know the name of it.
Q. What grade are you in?
A. 3rd.
Q. Do you have recess at school?
A. I don’t understand recess.
Q. A different era.

Kelly G. Palazzi, RPR
South Hackensack, N.J.

Safety first
Q. And I mention that there are elevators available, but are there also stairways, do you know?
A. I’d imagine there’s stairways because in a fire, the elevators, you can’t use.
Q. So in a fire she would be required to use stairways and that would require going up and down steps, obviously?
A. Yes.
ATTORNEY: Just note my objection. If it’s a fire, you probably wouldn’t want to go up the steps, you would probably just want to go down.
Liebe Stevenson, RMR
Liberty, Mo.